Sometimes the best thing you can do with your life is to find a way to forget about it.
What colour do you think it is? I’m going to go with white for the shaft and green for the knob. Any thoughts?
Well assistant-manager Jairon, if that is your real name, I’ll have you know that my miniature horse is a service animal. I have dyslexia. Buttermilk Biscuit here helps me differentiate Bs and Ds. He clops his hoof once for a B and twice for a D. So wither you like it or not, he will be joining me for breakfast this morning at Benny’s. Clop! Clop! I mean Denny’s.
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror…
Go away mom, I’m in my room!
Lemmy says: These are shorts! I’m cool.
Just one of those nights on the internet.
This was on TV the other night and I watched it. Still awesome.
So yeah, I think my Richard Gere robot is coming along well. See you at the Oscars.
Tombstones seem really expensive. I wonder if you can get a pre-engraved one if you have a really common name? Like those key chains and pencils they sell in the middle of the mall.
Johnny’s Encyclopedia of complicated insults: If you know someone that is way too tanned and is starting to get a leathery face, sidle up to them and say, So I hear the saw’s family.
This could be the premise for an awesome porno.
(via karlkaos)
